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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In progress...

A suitcase full of tupperware, zip lock bags, and aluminum foil with homemade food was waddling between her legs as she sipped the well needed coffee on the train that morning. Why was she up that early going back to her small, messy, and more importantly lonely apartment, this she did not know. Morning was never her best time of day, but a nagging mother and a non approving father was enough for her this day. Spending two days with them was plenty for this weekend, Sunday was her day to relax and cuddle on the couch with a Bones marathon on TNT. What she may have forgotten through her caffeine feeding veins is that back at her apartment, there was nobody to cuddle with, and who knows if they switched Bones for The Mentalist today.

As her eyes started to close and her coffee cup slated toward to the right, she was startled by the ring of a phone, hers.

"What's up?" she asked. No need for politeness or anything of that sort. It was her best friend. You know, the kind you've known for years, and even though you've both been so busy living your separate lives, when you do make time for that long lunch during work to meet, you just pick up right where you left off. You hug, you kiss, you start pouring your heart out, you vent, you cry, you say goodbye. They were far from similar in appearance, personality, morals, or life plans. Yet for the past 11 years they have been the best of friends, sharing all their hopes, dreams, worries, tears, laughs and celebrations.

"Yeah I'm on the train now. Mom packed me a suitcase full of food. I'm not slightly kidding. With every bump, I'm worried something might spill"

"Hey I'm sorry we didn't get to see each other this weekend. Definitely next, I promise. Maybe we can meet in New Brunswick and have a girls night out. You can be my wingman." A slight laugh, and their conversation continued for a few minutes as they caught up on what's going on in their lives.

"Really? Wow. I'm shocked. You finally had the marriage talk. Well it's about time. You've been going strong for over a year." A slight frown came over her face as she tried to still sound happy and peppy for her friend.

"Mom packing you food, huh? I miss that." said a man next to her across the isle as soon as she hung up. It took her a moment to respond.

"Yeah. They're great. I don't really need all of this. I like cooking, although I sometimes don't really get around to shopping for groceries to cook with...but when I do, I'm all good." she said as she gave him a sweet smile. He deserved it, he was a cutie pie. He was in his mid to late twenties she thought, with dark brown hair, medium length, with blazing blue eyes, and a sweet kind of sad smile.

"Well it's still nice for her to help you out, my mom used to do that when I first moved out. My college roommates were very glad also."

"Yeah I'm lucky. Are you in college now?" she asked.

"No I graduated a few years ago. What about you?"

"I'm in grad school in the city. I'm really not a city girl. I just moved here, and I don't anybody. I rented a small crappy apartment in a moderately safe area. I think. I don't know where the good areas are actually."

"I live in the city. I could show you around if you want. Do you use Google Earth? There's this feature on there were you can draw on the map and add notes and things. I could make a very detailed map of where you go to eat, movie theaters, shopping, groceries, places to stay absolutely away from."

"Mass transit."

"Yes that too." he smiled.

"That would be extremely helpful. I would really appreciated it." they smiled at each other and suddenly their eye contact was broken by a couple looking for seats in the crowded morning traffic.

"You could sit over there honey, and I'll be there." the man said to his girl friend while pointing at the empty seat next to me.

"Could you please let me have the isle seat so I can talk with my husband miss?" she asked me.

"How about I sit over there and you and your husband can seat together." she said while trying to get approval from the boy she had been talking too. He smiled in approval and she went to sit with him.

"Thanks so much." the woman's husband said.

"Hi. I'm Nick by the way." he told her while putting out his hand for a quick shake. What's the origin of this polite expression anyway?

"Nice to meet you Nick, I'm Ana."

As soon as she sat down her station was coming fast. She wasn't paying attention to where the train was and time flew.

"Oh this is me. I can't believe we got here so fast. I'm sorry I gatta run. I have to meet with someone at school." with the fear of being late yet again to her meeting with her advisor she picked up her suitcase of goodies and left.

"Alright, well nice to meet you!" He yelled after her with a slight wave. "Didn't even get her number. Good move Nick." he muttered under his breath as he watched her walk briskly toward the exit from the platform.

~********************************************************************************~

"Are you serious? Come on Chris!" she yelled as he walked down the hall to the stairwell of her apartment complex.

"I'm sorry Ana. Rain check. Another time!" he yelled back and sprinted down the stairs almost knocking over the pizza delivery boy.

"Whoa!" the pizza boy said.

"Sorry man." said Chris. He didn't really mean that.

Ana is still in disbelieve in her doorway getting angrier by the minute as the pizza boy arrives.

"Half plain, half chicken?" he asked her as their eyes met.

"Oh you. Nick right?" she asked as the pizza boy's face suddenly became familiar.

"Ana, hey! What a coincidence." his heart jumped a little as the girl that slipped away on the train was his last call on this cool Friday night.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Grrrrrr....

So the first person from my high school graduation class (that I know of) just got engaged. There was another one but that one really didn't count since her boyfriend went to the army and then they got divorced right away anyway. And plenty of other girls had kids (plural) but didn't get married. This girl is graduating from college now and just got engaged. UGH! It does make me feel a little old, but mostly I'm jealous. For me, when someone gets engaged at any point in their life, but especially now, I feel like they have their life in order. They both have income, a place to stay, and they know what next year brings, and the year after that. I really want to be like that. So badly! At this moment in my life nothing is certain. I want stability!

Unfortunately/fortunately by the end of this week I will know more about my life, but then again not really. My boyfriend has to decide where his going for graduate school. I only got into one place, but I hope to get into one other one (one of the ones he got into). So we're both freaking out the moment. What if he says yes to the first school, but I don't get in there (I applied late), but what if he accepts the other school and then I get into the first school and I want to go there. My parents aren't helping since they don't want me to go wherever he goes. We've been planning to go to the same grad school since we started dating. And this desire has only increased over the years as our love for each other got stronger and stronger. So we really cannot be apart now. It's just not going to happen. My friends keep saying "It's going to work out". Well I need them to work out RIGHT NOW! There's no time. There's no time for decision, or anything. On Friday he's gotta tell the first school yes or no, and then that'll be that. If he says yes I'm going to have to pray that I do get into that school and that it's a good decision for me to go there. Right now I'm not too certain if the one that I got into is better or worse then his number one. If he says no, then he's going to have to go to the other school which is close to my number one, so even though it's not the same school we'll still be living together. This sucks!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Friend Troubles

Is it wrong not to like your best friend anymore?

Let me answer that one for you, yes. Well okay It's a little more complicated than that. That stupid teacher in high school was right and I hate her for it. She said that you will make new best friends once you get to college and they're going to be more of a friend to you than your high school friends. Well, half of that is right I suppose. My best friend and I have been inseparable since middle school and when we found out that we're going to the same college we were very excited. We are not interested in the same thing, career wise so we don't have the same major. She works all the time, while I don't. Instead I study all the time and still get bad grades. In any case, we haven't made time to see each other these past 4 years. I started dating someone soon after I started college and I've spent more time with him since his major is very close to mine, we have taken classes together, and he lives close by so we can also snuggle up at his house. I have neglected her, but really---she's been neglecting me too. And when we both have those feelings of regret we finally make time to go out to dinner. But even when we get together and we haven't seen each other in a month or so...we have nothing to talk about. We both say what's been going on with school, parents, boyfriends, jobs, plans for the summer...and that's it. It all lasts about a half hour and then we're quiet. I can see it in her expressions that she doesn't care about my "new" friends from my major whom I talk about constantly because I spend so much time with them in class and between classes socializing. Who else am I supposed to talk about? And of course I mention professors and events which she doesn't know anything about, and frankly she doesn't seem to walk to know. She talks about people at her work, not so much school people because she's the type that goes to classes and then runs out the door to go to work or pick up somebody instead of getting to know her classmate.

So when we see each other it's awkward and seems really off. In high school we could spend hours talking and having fun, and now it's just boring. I finally realized how bad it was when my boyfriend and I went out to dinner with another couple from our department. That was so much fun. We talked, we laughed, we drank and ate. There was no awkwardness even though we don't know her boyfriend very well. The problem now is that summer is almost here, and we have to make plans in order to actually do something besides sit on the couch. We're trying to plan a real vacation with plane tickets, hotel tickets, meals, the works. We're never done that together because we didn't have much money but now since we're graduating we think we deserve a nice vacation. Every time I look at those Caribbean or Mexican vacation deals I get excited, but then I remember that it's going to be me, my boyfriend, and her and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is pretty quiet and doesn't have much to say, but he's a nice guy. My boyfriend is pretty quiet unless he's got someone around him that shares his hobbies (then he won't shut up) but her boyfriend doesn't have anything in common with either of us.

I can just image how awkwark and boring this vacation is going to be. And I want to have fun because I never do things like these, and I want a big great vacation before starting graduate school. I wish I could be as good friends with her as I used to be, but we've both changed. =(

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

CoverGirl, Maybelline, and L'Oreal Mascaras

Remind me never to buy CoverGirl mascara ever again. What was I thinking? I bought the Lash Blast Volume Blasting mascara (the orange thick one) a little while ago and lost the receipt so I couldn't return it. It does NOTHING! Maybe if you already have long thick lashes, it will make them a bit darker. Or if you don't like nice long girly lashes for every day look, (like if you're some boring mom) then this is for you.

Then I went back to my L'Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes (the red/white one). I think this is one of the best mascaras I've found lately. I think it's very important for the mascara to actually come off when you wash it off! And this one is great for that. The "tubes" just slide off with warm water or a bit of makeup remover. Of course it has a disadvantage. It does flake a lot, and I get black little "tubes" around my eyes, (or in my eyes) which my boyfriend thinks its kind of gross (and I agree). I don't mind that it has 2 steps, the white part protects the lashes and gives it its great length. However, I got pretty bored of it and thought I would try something new. The lady at the store was very nice but only showed me the newest mascaras in every brand they had so I gave in.

 It was either the Lash Blast Fusion (purple/bluish one) or the Maybelline Volum' Express Falsies or the Maybeline Volum'Express One-by-One. Thank God I didn't get the Falsies because I read reviews of it last night and it's apparently horrendous. The One-by-One is not so great either, but I haven't tried it.

Last Blast Fusion should really never advertise themselves as being length+volume. It's not! The brush hurts my top lash by the way because it's so sharp and pointy. It's just horrible and I thought that maybe they fixed their product from the Lash Blast Volume...but they didn't. Not at all. It's the same as that one...aka bad!

At least I'll be returning it today. I'm still not sure what to get. My L'Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes is about finished, so I might buy another one, but I think I'll be sticking to L'Oreal for sure because CoverGirl and Maybelline have been disappointing.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Religion, Marriage, and Children

I'm confused and worried about marrying someone with a different religion. We are both faithful but not very religious. I just want to make my family and his happy. I really don't think that's possible. Help?
Recently my boyfriend of two and a half years and I have gotten on the subject of weddings. I blurted out that I don't even want a church wedding as we were referring to someone else, not our particular wedding. He was kind of shocked by this but after I explained myself, he now understands why a non-church wedding would be best. 


Background story. I was baptized Eastern Orthodox. Yes that is a real religion, even though I'm very surprised many people don't know that it exists. Countries such as:  Albania, Bulgaria, Georgia, Greece, Macedonia, Romania, Russia, Serbia, and Ukraine are Eastern Orthodox and most of the people in these countries practice their own version of Eastern Orthodoxy. Up until I was about 6 or 7 years old my grandmother raised me, God rest her soul. She was a very religious woman, and never missed a Sunday in church. She taught my cousin and I praisers and stories from the Bible. However, both my parents are educated in science and have never really been as devoted to religion as my grandparents, aunts and uncles. My mother has had a religious renewal, I believe after her surgery and goes to church almost every Sunday. My father on the other hand, does not really like our new priest, and he believes that God can still hear your prayers at home, so he does not attend church anymore. I agree with him on this one, especially since on Christmas the priest gave a really long speech about how you have to come to church because God does not hear you at home since there are no icons or other things at home. This made me really upset. I do believe in God. I do believe that there is someone out there in our hearts who you can pray to, tell your worries, apologize for your weaknesses, and he will hear what is really in hour heart and forgive you. However, I do not agree with all aspects of the religion that I was baptized in. Honestly, I don't really know what I'm supposed to believe in. I never went to Sunday school or to a religious high school. My parents never told me I should pray, but they did expect me to go to Church with them when I was younger (if they went). So really, I don't know much about my religion. But I do like the tradition of it; I like telling people that I'm Eastern Orthodox and tell them how it is different from Catholicism or other religions (at least the things I know about).


Okay so now my boyfriend who I believe I will marry one day soon because we are great together. He was baptized in a Presbyterian Church. His mother attended that church since she was little, but his father is Catholic. They are not church goers, however. They do make a point of going to church on Christmas and Easter, like a lot of other people. Also his brother is a big member of their youth group, so in honesty, they are more attached to their church community than we are. My boyfriend however is very indifferent but has never said that he does not believe in God, and his surprise to my statement that I don't want to be married in a church told me that he has thought about our wedding. 


Now here are the problems with getting married in my church. It is very small, my parents and I will be the only Eastern Orthodox people there, for everyone else it will be very different, the procedures of the wedding are very long, and they don't recite the ceremony in English; there are many specific steps to the ceremony such are crowning and walking about the alter, and things like that; also the maid of honor and the best man must be Eastern Orthodox because they take part in the wedding and also traditionally they are the godparents to the first born child; if the baptism would take place in Eastern Orthodox church then the godparents would be a very big part of the procedures. My maid of honor will most likely be Orthodox, but his best man will definitely not be. He does not need to convert though, which is one good thing.


Getting married in his church would a weird also because nobody knows me there and they would obviously have to know I'm not Presbyterian. I don't think I would have to convert which is good, but my parents would not be happy for their only child to be married in a strange church of which neither them or I know the beliefs or practices of. And I'm sure his parents would not like their son to be married in a different church also.


So what does this leave us with? Well there are banquet halls and outdoor weddings possible in front of a lake and a gazebo or something of that sort. Who would marry us though? We would have to have somebody! Also he says that he's never known of a wedding that took place in his church, so I don't know if his pastor would even come to do our wedding outside the church. Ugh! Annoying.

The reason that this is on my mind is because I hope to get married in the next 2 years. We will very very soon find out what we are doing for the next few years, and we will find out if we will live in the same area. It is very likely we will move to the same city to continue our education, so a proposal would be very appropriate after we find out. 



Also I am very excited about having children also. Where would they be baptized? When you baptize a child in a church you have to be in good standing with that church, and you have to be baptized yourself (at least one of the parents) there. You also must have your godparents be Eastern Orthodox and you must promise yourself and the church that you will raise your child in that religion. How can I baptize my children Orthodox or Presbyterian if I myself don't fully believe in either of these religions and I don't go to church there? I don't want to be a hypocrite. At the same time there is that tradition factor, and that reminder in my heart that I am Eastern Orthodox and my grandmother tried hard to show me our beliefs, so not baptizing my children at all will not set well with me or my parents. I'm supposed to believe in original sin, which I really don't; but at the same time I do want to baptize my child in a church so he/she will be protected and filled with God's love. I know the people in that child's life should teach the child about love, prayers, God, and faith, but it would put me more at ease if a priest would bless the child as well.


I'm so confused. What should I do? I don't want to be a hypocrite. I want everyone to be as happy as they can be without making me miserable. I don't want my parents to hold a grudge for me or my boyfriend and his family. I don't want his parents to think I'm taking their little boy away and changing his views. I want both families to love our children and get along with each other. I only grew up with one set of grandparents, and only saw the other once or twice a year, if that. I don't want that for my children. I just want to make everyone happy. However, I don't think that will be possible. 

Friday, February 25, 2011

Engagement Rings -- Diamond or Not?

Estimation of prices are made from jamesallen.com. I do not work for them or have any contact with them. Their rings are beautiful (that is why I picked this site) and I am in no way asking people not to purchase jewelry from them.

Let's start by saying that I do have a boyfriend (in case you haven't read my posts) and we've been dating for two years. I hope that we will get married in 1-2 years since we are totally in love and he's my soul mate =) We've talked about marriage very early on in the relationship because I wanted to know if he wants marriage one day -- since I do.  We're both graduating from college in May 2011 and then continuing on to graduate school which I will write about since it will be very different and exciting.

Anyway--on to the point of this article, having to pay tuition and hopefully an apartment starting next summer--we don't have a big budget for an expensive engagement ring. I told my boyfriend that if he plans on asking me to marry him in the next 2 years he better not spend more then $500 on it because it would be a waste. I didn't always have this philosophy because back when I was young and stupid I wanted a real diamond ring. I thought to myself even if it was tiny I would want a real one--but secretly I thought my fiance would have a steady job and could afford 3-5 months salary on a diamond ring. You can't help who you fall for, and I'm not the type of girl to marry for money. Not ideal for me. I also used to think that I would like to marry someone a bit older, someone who had a job and apartment by the time I finish college. Some friends of mine have boyfriends like I just described and I just don't like that situation. I prefer being with someone who is going through the same things I'm going through. We're in the same college, studying related things, hoping to go to the same (or close enough) graduate school together and getting a place there. So I really don't expect him to go out and buy a $10,000 ring because realistically, that's how much a really nice one would be. What would you do if you could customize the ring for your fiancĂ©e to be? Would you want it to be bigger or clearer, or with a better cut, or with fewer imperfections? If you put all those categories in the middle--say you want something "average" for her. You can't go crazy but you don't want some cheap thing. First what you have to know is that as the carat (size) gets bigger, the quality goes down. It's just how it is. You can't find natural diamonds which are as big as a fist with no imperfections and a clear color. Okay so even if you put everything on medium you will still have to pay a great amount of money. Say you go on any famous store's website and you just pick out a diamond:  round, G color, VS1 clarity, Premium cut, 0.5 carats. The cheapest of these will be $1,720. The next one on the line has 0.69 carats and the same other characteristics will push the price to $2,250. Now say that you don't really want to give your girl and average rock. You bump the color up to a F (one higher level than G), and the clarity to VVS2 (one higher then VS1). That 0.5 carat will not be $2,140 and the 0.70 $3,410. Just keep in mind that this is just the diamond. It does not include the ring or wedding band. The ring and band should be made of something very durable as well, since it should last forever, right?

Okay so the setting--going with the simplest available--round setting solitaire (with no side stones or other embellishment)--white gold (before yellow gold is very old fashioned and gross, oh and the price is basically the
same--the other option is platinum which is more expensive) = cheapest $360. Now say you want something more pretty to put that diamond you just bought in. You decided to put sidestones with white gold = cheapest $775 and goes up by $50-100. The 4th most expensive one is $1,000.
So say you picked the sidestone version of the setting which is between $700-1000 + $2000-3000 diamond. That adds up to a total price of  #$2500-4500 (don't forget the wedding bands for both of you and insurance on all the rings in case they are ruined or something of that sort). By the way, the above pictures are of real diamonds and settings from jamesallen, and they are not 0.5 carat! Here is a carat chart:

You can see that buying a real diamond is very expensive. The most common sizes that average people buy is 0.70 carat (the highest of the ranges of prices given earlier). Some studies show that the average price spent on a ring is between $5000 and $7000. This is much lower then the barely minimum alternative discussed here. So why would you do this, is my question?
Say you are 23, 24, just out of college, into graduate school, or finished with it, or working--where do you have $5000 to pay for this? Is it coming out of you rent, food, student loans, savings? I really don't think so. While some may have the means to do this, others have to wait a long time for them to afford it. The average age of educated married men and women is going up. Many get married after 30 years of age, and have 1 or 2 children or no children at all. More and more education is needed to do the jobs you want, and thus more and more time is needed to get those degrees while paying off students loans.

You could get your education, have that great job, and get married at the same time. Just don't spend money of stupid things.





MaxClarity Foam and Proactiv

In case you don't want to read until the end--the main purpose of this blog is to tell the world that it doesn't work for everybody. Summarizing table below.

I had high hopes for it, as I'm sure many of you did. However it's not awesome. I didn't expect miracles, I'm a realistic person, but it just doesn't work for me. My skin does get a bit oily in the t-zone, and it gets extremely dry and flaky from acne medication. I don't have acne all over my face, just a few pimples here and there, but since I am a girl, I do get breakouts around that time of the month. MaxClarity did not get me through my "special time."

The reason I started this was because I was tired of Proactiv. My mom got me Proactiv a few years ago and I've been off and on with it. When their new "gentler, creamier" version came out I was excited and re-bought it. Unfortunately, the cleanser still feels like tiny (aka "micro") shards of glass being rubbed all over my face for 2 minutes. That's not exactly how I want to wake up in the morning, or go to sleep at night. My face gets all red and sometimes it hurts for an hour afterwards...nothing I do makes it better.

Anyway, MaxClarity Foam Deep Cleanser definitely doesn't make my face burn...but it also doesn't do much. It does however make my face feel like I just had a face lift. It's so stiff even before I use the Acne Treatment--afterwards I need to put on lotion so I can apply my liquid makeup. Ya okay maybe I shouldn't wear coverup, but there's a reason I'm using acne treatments. And yes, I do need lotion for the makeup to go on evenly and nicely--I've tried many of them and I really like this one (blog coming soon) so I don't want to stop using it. In any case, I'm worried that if I use lotion I'll undo the whole treatment thing.

Also most acne treatment have 3 steps--1 cleanser, 2 toner, 3 treatment--in that order. This system tells you to use cleanser and treatment in the morning---cleanser toner at night. The lack of directions is really annoying. The 1 paper that came with it lists the directions as I said above, and on the actual bottles it says to use the cleaner-treatment routine more then once a day.

Another thing is that the 2 month batch they sent you definitely doesn't last that long. The bottles are small, and you use some of them (cleanser and treatment) more then the toner. One thing to watch out for is getting the foam out. Make sure you shake, and listen to them when they say point the nozzle straight down. Also the cleaner expands a lot. So press it a little bit and wait a second to see how much it expands and then use more if you needed. The Toner is the least dense so it doesn't expand as much. You don't need a lot of Cleanser. When you try it out you'll see what I mean (that is if you decide to buy it after this review). As you massage the Cleaner in your skin it will feel very soft (since it is foam), no shards of glass here!

So you know the system does come with a Foaming Wash which I mostly use for my face--it's advertised to be used on the body, but it doesn't really foam much.

Back to Proavtiv--Cleanser is made of shards of glass that cut and and make your face red and irritated--the Toner has something in it that makes the Cleanser hurt you even more by increasing the redness--the Treatment does work sometimes but you need to wait forever for it to sink into the skin so you can put on makeup and get out the door. That Refining Mask they keep advertising lately does have some good points:
1. dries out pimples in a couple of nights (definitely not overnight ) 2. better then the spot Treatment.
However it smells really bad and obviously dries the skin around the pimple because that is unavoidable so I usually get nickel size dry disgusting patches for a week after my pimple goes away. It's really bad because even if you put on lotion (even the moisturizer which comes with Proactiv) it can't moisturize it enough and putting on liquid makeup makes it look horrible! I can't wear any makeup when I have the dry patches. I would show you a picture but I vowed never to use the Refining Mask ever again. I did give it a try for many months. I'm not just making these accusations out of thin air.

Okay so I'll stop babbling. Here is a summarizing table.


Cleanser
Toner
Treatment

Extras

Proactiv

· Shards of glass
· redness, irritation, pealing, burning
· fresh-ish feeling
· gets rid of makeup and oil
· Enhances the irritation done by the Cleanser
· too liquidy
· uses up fast
· needs cotton ball or other applicator
· Slow absorption
· works decently
· definitely gets used up faster then the other 2
·  too small
Moisturizer
· bad smell (like Vaseline)
· doesn’t moisturize well
· very small
Refining Mask
· way too drying
· smell is horrible
· works after a few night
MaxClarity
· Expands a lot when the nozzle is pushed
· Doesn’t get rid of makeup
· Extremely drying
· Fast absorption
· Fresh
· not much use for it; didn’t see a difference
·  only goes on at night
· Extremely drying
· Uses up very fast
· Goes on clean
· Absorbs fast
· Foaming wash: not very foamy, descent
· Good as a body wash
· Has some “beads” in it