Grrrrrr....

So the first person from my high school graduation class (that I know of) just got engaged. There was another one but that one really didn't count since her boyfriend went to the army and then they got divorced right away anyway. And plenty of other girls had kids (plural) but didn't get married. This girl is graduating from college now and just got engaged. UGH! It does make me feel a little old, but mostly I'm jealous. For me, when someone gets engaged at any point in their life, but especially now, I feel like they have their life in order. They both have income, a place to stay, and they know what next year brings, and the year after that. I really want to be like that. So badly! At this moment in my life nothing is certain. I want stability!

Unfortunately/fortunately by the end of this week I will know more about my life, but then again not really. My boyfriend has to decide where his going for graduate school. I only got into one place, but I hope to get into one other one (one of the ones he got into). So we're both freaking out the moment. What if he says yes to the first school, but I don't get in there (I applied late), but what if he accepts the other school and then I get into the first school and I want to go there. My parents aren't helping since they don't want me to go wherever he goes. We've been planning to go to the same grad school since we started dating. And this desire has only increased over the years as our love for each other got stronger and stronger. So we really cannot be apart now. It's just not going to happen. My friends keep saying "It's going to work out". Well I need them to work out RIGHT NOW! There's no time. There's no time for decision, or anything. On Friday he's gotta tell the first school yes or no, and then that'll be that. If he says yes I'm going to have to pray that I do get into that school and that it's a good decision for me to go there. Right now I'm not too certain if the one that I got into is better or worse then his number one. If he says no, then he's going to have to go to the other school which is close to my number one, so even though it's not the same school we'll still be living together. This sucks!

Spring Semester 2010

My anticipation on the upcoming semester. I'm sure you will hear more about my classes and professors, as well as complains about homework and meaningless projects.

A new beginning starts tomorrow.

I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be. I don't have all my books--I don't have an Independent Study book picked out--at least my hair is washed. Girls--always wash your hair. Even if you are having a bad day, and you have sudden breakouts, or you nails are chipped. If your hair feels flowy and clean--you will feel better about yourself.

I really pray to God that this semester will be okay. The last one was pretty bad--the one before was horrible. The summer--lets just not start that today. At least my boyfriend is in my toughest class this semester. I hope that's a good thing.

I hope my adviser emails me back. I hope she can help me with the Independent Study. I hope my children's lit class wont be a pain. I'm a Physics major for crying out loud! The b.s. class is supposed to be easy. I have 3 other classes that are do or die, and I don't need this one to take all of my time.

For those other college students out there that are going through the same thing--send me some hope please. Word of advise (I should listen to it too) don't stress. It's good to try and do your best--but when that ruins your health and peace of mind--it's not worth it. We'll all graduate sooner or later, and get some kind of job in which we will eventually advance and live comfortably.

Just don't regret this part of your life. Don't forget to live.